The Lady with One Small Eye

A long time ago I worked for a temp agency. Most of the jobs were easy, often copying, or organizing paperwork, and usually there was a group of us ‘temps’ all hired on for the purpose of the short-term job.

At one of these jobs, I worked in a smallish office in an expansive industrial complex, the kind you see from the freeway that has sparse landscaping, ambiguous purpose, and seems devoid of activity.

There was a random mix of us, a range of ages and occupations. I was a student, as was another girl. She made constant reference to the fact that she and her boyfriend were premed. One afternoon, she described in explicit detail her roommate’s tapeworm. We listened, intrigued and horrified. All in all, it was pretty laid-back and interesting.

Those kinds of offices are always cold, though, and there is a lot of sitting.

So, I had a practice of walking during the breaks to warm up. Back then, there was no distraction, no cellphone, only your wristwatch, and the weather in Southern California was almost always perfect. It didn’t take long before the other ladies caught on. Most of them were older, maybe mid-fifties or thereabouts. I’m sure they all wanted to lose weight as we pretty much all do as we age. Before I knew it there a sizeable posse of us wandering the empty parking lots with only the bland gray and brown buildings interrupting the landscape.

As the job came to a close, someone mentioned going out to lunch.

I do remember myself back then, and I was definitely not interested in lunch. I preferred movement to sitting around in a dimly lit area to eat. I tend to get cold and sluggish easily and sitting down, eating, and semi-darkness is a recipe for my version of a wasted day. But, for whatever reason, one that I don’t remember, I nodded my head, passed around my phone number (landline back then), and when the time came, I actually showed up.

We met, probably eight of us, at Tortilla Flats. Some of you may know this place, it had somewhat of an iconic following back in the day. I remember that it was empty—probably because it was mid-afternoon on a weekday. We had a huge wooden table, in a cavernous room. I think everything there was large and heavy feeling.

I sat next to this one lady, and it was probably, though I can’t remember, a purposeful move on my part. The thing was, I am very much an introvert, back then, and even now. I catch myself to this day, assessing the situation, creating distance or proximity to whoever it is that feels comfortable based on the general vibe. This lady had really dark, black hair. She was also tan. But, most notable was that one eye was slightly smaller than the other.

Everyone has slight variations to their features, slight imperfections. Hers was a little more dramatic, like maybe she’d had an injury in her past. It wasn’t off-putting in any way, nor was it extreme, but it was noticeable.

I think about her sometimes. She was the most calming person I’ve ever met. It was her I sat next to and it was because of her that I was able to eat a lunch and actually be comfortable. She didn’t do anything out of the ordinary and I can’t pin down exactly why she was so easy to be around. She just was. And, whatever it was that she possessed, I was able to just be.

At the time, I was in my early 20’s. She likely had kids my age. I wonder sometimes, did they appreciate her? Did they know how amazing she was?

As temp jobs go, this one was no different than the rest. I ate my lunch, said goodbye, and drove off.

That was over 30 years ago and I have no idea what became of the group or the lady I liked so much. The culture in Southern California was very focused on looks, even then. I wonder if she felt self-conscious about her eye. All I know is that she made a lasting impact on me and it wasn’t because of how she looked, it was her quiet presence.

I hope she knew her impact. So many of us don’t.