Flexibility

My chiropractor did not solve my sciatica.

In fact, as I moved throughout the day, it seemed that the $175 bill did nothing but deplete my bank account. And yet, I took something away from the appointment that may have been more valuable than the immediacy of a ‘fixed’ back.

He left me with the reminder to let go.

This is a new chiropractor and he took his time, but he was leery about cracking my back in a forceful way— the way my main chiropracter, who was on an untimely vacaction, normally did. I understood his hesitancy, perhaps there are risks of injury to the patient. With this new appointment there was the usual poking and prodding, a little push here, a push there, then a heavy massaging gun that felt like my internal organs may be shoved out the other side of my body.

After those efforts, which unfortunately for both of us, amounted to dancing around the problem, my chiropractor was suddenly on the ground while I lay prone on the table searching the ceiling for answers. It took me a minute to notice that he was at ground level and another minute to figure out what he was doing. What was I missing here? Had he lost something? I turned my head sideways and realized he was awkwardly involved in a stretch exercise demonstration.

One stretch involved a contorted twist that made me wince just to look at. I didn’t air my concerns to him, instead I opted to listen as he showed me how I could modify the exercise to avoid pain. He emphasized the notion that the stretch was to happen—it should not be forced.

Then he said, ”we have a tendency to force a stretch, but we’ll often get faster and better results by allowing the movement to progress on its own.”

Later, after I’d left with my sore back still sore, my checking account significantly less robust, and a foggy, lingering cloud of disappointment, I tried to make the best of my visit and realized that his message, Let Go, while it did not take away my discomfort, gave me something to think about.

At home, from the comfort of my yoga mat, I had a new layer to my process: Don’t rush it, let it happen. I slowly found that this message alone make me enjoy my stretching exercises. I feel like I want to lay there, turn and rotate, breathe. Letting go is enjoyable. Moreover, I now had ”permission” to do so. Wasn’t I getting faster results by allowing it to happen?

Maybe my back was not fixed in that visit, but something else was allowed to seep in that was equally important: If you listen to it, and let it guide you, your body may just tell you what it needs to adjust itself to normal.